Tracy

Stuck in a Loop – Overindulging

I wrote ‘Drifting Through Life – Time to Change’ well over a week ago now. Not much has changed since.  It’s like I know something has to change, something has to move, something has to develop… but that’s really hard to do.  Especially when I seem to be stuck in the same loops that have

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Drifting Through Life – Time to Change

I’m 36 and never really had a plan for my life.  Like one of those 5 year plans.  Or a clear direction of where I want to go and where I want to be. I’ve had small plans.  Like get through this next year, get through this course, look forward to this trip etc.  But

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Blog Journal

Last Session with my Suicide Counselling Centre Today

23rd of October 2018 Today marks the last of my 15 sessions with a local suicide counselling centre.  As I was leaving the reception area I turned and thanked the lovely lady whom every time I entered, asked if I wanted a tea or a coffee.  I thanked her for what she was doing and

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Suicide – 6 Months Later – It was Real

It’s been 6 months since my last post. It’s been just under 5 months since the meds kicked in… and I stopped feeling suicidal. As much as I had been trying to pull myself together, make positive plans and calm my anxiety, the reality of my struggles hit home like a brutal blow.  A couple

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Suicide – Mum Thought I had Plans This Weekend

So after a couple of pretty hopeless days last week, I had the opportunity to go on a San Pedro (Huchuma) Healing Ceremony weekend in a large wooden house surrounded by the lush Wicklow Mountains. As I left Mum’s house on Friday, I pulled the sheets and covers off my bed, packed my blankets and

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Exercising Depression Away

I’m just home from the gym and feeling good about my effort. Started back again about 3/4 weeks ago after getting over the initial cold that had struck me after my trip away (3+ months in Plum Village).  I’ve been (roughly) twice a week since starting and even though it’s a real push to get

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Mini Retreat & Connection

Last week I had the opportunity to go on a 4 day retreat very similar to the one I spent in Plum Village for just over 3 months. This retreat was entitled “Happy Teachers Change the World: Mindfulness Retreat for Educators”.   It was led by 3 Monastics from Plum Village in Doneraile, Cork, Ireland.   Although

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One of Those Days

Sometimes I wonder to myself, am I just putting added pressure to myself by having this blog? It’s ironic.  I want it to help me in having a form of release, to help in expanding and building my writing abilities, to help in building confidence in myself…   Yet, I keep putting writing off until ‘I’ve

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