Tuning into My Body

Very recently I hit the 6 month anti-depressant medication free mark.

I am really proud of myself. I know I am finally free.

I also know that with the help of a therapist that works with ‘Holotropic Breathing’ and many other supports, I have become A LOT more in tune with my body.

I’ve always heard that trauma and pain are held within the cells of the body… I now finally fully understand this concept.

Being free from the filter of medication, I have finally been able to go deeper into the depths of my being.

Just yesterday when in session with *John, I experienced something I have heard of, I have seen, but never experienced myself until recently.

We were discussing about my underlying issues of anger, hurt and sadness and *John asked me if he brought over this pile of bean bags near to me would I be able to ‘do some breathing’ and release some anger into the beanbags.

I’ve done this type of work before and said, sure, let’s give it a go.

I started to focus on the area in my body that I could feel these emotions in the strongest (my upper belly or solar plexus) and started to take deep long and progressively faster breaths into this area, visualising these emotions bigger and more intensely.

I’ve done this work before so knew the process and before long, I was crying and letting some of these emotions out…

I didn’t manage to do any hitting of them bean bags…. I think pushing hard on objects (the bean bags and the armrest of the couch I was on) and releasing energy that way is more my thing.

I put my all into the process….

I cried, I swore, I yelled, I shook….

… finally, as I was being witnessed by *John, I started to consciously come back into the room and calm my body down with long slow breaths…

The next thing that happened to me is a new experience I am only now starting to feel and understand…

I felt nauseous…

I felt like throwing up, as if my body was telling me, ok, you’re done with that now, now it’s time to release this fully from your body.

It was dully an uncomfortable and so very interesting experience…

I am learning every day… learning about my body and how much she has been holding onto … and how much she wishes to release.

I am learning how incredibly adaptive, intuitive and intelligent my and your body is…

It’s amazing me more and more, every day.

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