I’m sitting here this morning, bursting with IDEAS.
Though… I have to get ready soon to go to town. I’m helping my good friend in her Health Food store until Christmas as an extra pair of hands on deck on Thursdays. It’s great, it get’s me out, give’s me a wee purpose and I get to interact with people in a familiar setting and hang out with a really good friend 🙂
I was just WhatsApping (yup, that’s a new verb in my dictionary) my bro Si there and saying.. I’ve got to that stage where there’s not enough hours in my day. I’ve got so much I want to do.
This is a not so familiar feeling… but fuck me, I like it.
I’ve gone from COMPLETE and utter despair… not feeling … well anything but absolute dread, fear and sadness…. and wanting to end it all… not feeling like I had a place in this world… to bursting with ideas on how I can just maybe help others and in the process, help myself.
How awesome would it be if I could do just that?
I would be… and I will be… so super proud of myself.
In the back of my mind, I’ve had this idea for years. I just never really had the courage or belief that I could do it.
With my recent goal setting task… I really took a hard look at what it is that I truly want… deep down inside…
By doing so… this idea of having a website and helping others became stronger and stronger.
Over the years my Bro and Mumma have been saying to get something like this done. I always thought…
‘I can’t do that, sure what do I know?’
‘I’ve haven’t got enough knowledge to do that’
‘I haven’t got anything to say’
Then it hit me…. Fuck me, I’ve a SHIT LOAD of experience with depression, a SHIT LOAD of experience with trying to get better, a SHIT LOAD of experiencing of that not going so well, a SHIT LOAD of experience of the road to self-discovery and self-development…
… Maybe I could come at this from a different angle?
… as someone whose intrinsically familiar with depression and anxiety... and as someone who really wants to do the best for herself to recover, finally get off medication and live a life where the absolute depths of aching despair are no longer a part of my life.
I would fucking love for this to become what I am starting to envision…
… I’m feeling like it’s starting…