Sometimes I wonder to myself, am I just putting added pressure to myself by having this blog?
It’s ironic. I want it to help me in having a form of release, to help in expanding and building my writing abilities, to help in building confidence in myself… Yet, I keep putting writing off until ‘I’ve a clearer head’ or ‘tomorrow’ or ‘I’ve got too many other things to do right now’, thus, sometimes building pressure upon myself to write.
Then, of course, the thoughts of:
‘Yup, you can’t stick at anything’ and ‘Another failed project’ come to mind.
This is one of those days where my head isn’t so clear, where I’ve just dipped beneath the water, finding it difficult to do anything productive. I’ll jump from one thing to the next, be it websites, my phone, looking out my window… not being able to keep focused on one task, including writing a simple blog post.
At the moment, I work from home for a few hours a day as an administrator for a psychologist who does 1:1 counselling sessions as well as running workshops and courses. It’s great to have the work, however working from home is a struggle at times when discipline is not my forte.
I’m trying. Some days I’m good. Getting up early, eating well, stretching, meditating, getting tasks done, meeting up with people, feeling glimpses of positivity about what’s next… other days I wake up with the fear of doom and gloom, which is an absolute bitch ass to shake.
This is one of those days.
One task at a time, some mindful breathing… focus.